Urban Dictionary

If you've been living under a rock Urban Dictionary is a website that defines all of the gross and fucked up words that aren't technically real words if you ask that fag Webster.
My latest contribution can be found here: Khalifa Definition #5 To take a pee and a poop at the same time.
Khalifa derives from Wiz Khalifa who is this really shitty rapper who usually gets so caught up in how awesome he is that he forgets to even rhyme. Well his one good song was called black and yellow so to me a Khalifa is when you take a dump and a piss at the same time. And yes smartasses my poop isnt always black but it definitly is when I finally take a dump days after drinking Pepto.

Jack3d

Jack3d is an incredible preworkout supplement. You take it and your face starts to tingle and you feel like if you dont start to lift something really heavy ASAP then you're going to freak out.
There is an ingredient in it called DMAA that the FDA is banning because two US soldiers died and they found it in their system. This means that Jack3d will no longer be sold. Its also already banned in many countries over seas.
This is a bunch of bullshit. Military training is way intense. I take Jack3d before I spend an HOUR in the gym not run 12 miles and do pushups all day. They probably took way over the correct dosage or just got burnt from running all day.
Why is it in this country everyone overreacts when one occurence happens. Sometimes shit just happens. We dont need to make a federal case out of everything. Its like I said after the shooting in Colorada at the Dark Night movie. They will probably start to have metal detectors in the godamn theaters now just because of one lunatic.
Big brother telling me what I can and can't eat fuck that I'm stocking up like Elaine did with her Sponges...

Billy Ripken

Billy Ripken Fleer Card

Definitly not new news but I just read this on the world wide web and thought it was pretty godamn hilarious. This is Cal's brother Billy Ripken. His Fleer card from way back when with F*ck Face written on the bottom of the bat. How noone caught that before production of the cards is beyond me but this is awesome either way.

Made me wonder about some other mistakes on sports cards so I found this site. The best one has to be the bat boy that got his picture taken haha Sports Card Errors

Total Recall chick with 3 boobs

Three is not a crowd.

So they are remaking the classic Total Recall that Arnold Schwarzenegger put out in 1990.
First off all you dont remake an Arnold movie.
Second Collin Farrell sucks.
Third Jessica Biel is hot as AIDS but I'm not going to watch her destroy this classic for it. I'd rather just watch Chuck and Larry, which also blew dogs for quarters.

Anyways I am glad to see that they kept the 3 breasted chick as part of the remake and she sported the fake tit for Comicon or some nerd shit in this photo. Too bad its not a straight on shot though cuz you can barely even tell she has three.

It would be sweet if this was a real trend. Most chicks have fake tits and plastic faces now anyways so why not take your freakshow to the next level and pop in an extra tit for good measaure. Make it happen Heidi....

what a shame

Three 6 Mafia

Best song ever hands down

Suck a nigga dick or somethin

Russel Brand Brand X

This show is fucking terrible. Even the audience isn't laughing. The whole show is just this dbag talking. Half of it you cant understand bc of his cockny accent and the rest is unwatchable. I cant believe he was married to Katy Perry. Her bewbs are imaculate. Lets all stare at them for a bit.

I wish he would leave America.

Penn State

Penn State fined 60 million and bowl ban for four years
Pwned. They deserve everything they get. Fucking monsters.
I feel bad for the player but they can transfer if they really want to.
Poor dead old fuck Paterno is no longer the winningest coach in history.
How shitty would it be if your last name was Sandusky? Now everytime you meet someone they have to think about that as their first impression of you whether you are even related to him or not.

Ernie Ells wins the British open

Do you care? Neither do I. Golf is lame and hella boring.

Maroon 5 Blows

This maroon 5 guy annoys the shit out of me. He seems really pretentious and his voice is extremely high pitched and fagy. You're singing a song about pay phones? Really? Sorry brah but I havent even seen a pay phone in at least 5 years. I dont think they even have them in airports anymore. Whats Maroon 5's next hit single, AOL instant messenger?

Also Wiz the Lyrical Wizard Kalifa has terrible flow. It seems like half the time hes rapping he forgets that he was supposed to end by rhyming the last word with the one from the line before. At least Kanye rhymes the same sound over and over and over for an entire verse.

Ron Santo Hall Of Fame

Stats

Ron Santo had a decent career. Not great, definitly not Hall material give me a fucking break. I could name 50 players not in the Hall that have better stats than this. How about Fred McGriff for one. He only had 150 more homers than this scrub.

Stephen A. Smith on Jeremy Lin

Jeremy Lin ESPN Article

Here is an article by ESPN writer Stephen A. Smith. Grade A moron. The guy provides no real insight into sports. He says dumb shit like a team lost because a certain player didn't "want it" hard enough. WTF does that mean? No dumbass sometimes you just get beat. Sports are games you cant win them all no matter how good you are.
Anyways he wrote this article talking about how shitty he thinks Jeremy Lin is and how Lin is a dick for signing with the Rockets.  So why do you care that he signed with the Rockets if you think he sucks so much? Smith also said that Lin should have taken less money to stay in NY. Why the hell would you take less money when you can make millions more somewhere else. Especially for a player that he says sucks. If you suck you definitly want to take as much money as you can because you aren't going to get to sucker someone into giving you another contract once the first one is up.

Amazing SNL skit this guy is spot on Stephen A.

Dark Knight Shooting in Colorado

Yahoo Article

Youngest victim was a 6 year old. The movie is PG-13. WTF is a six year old doing at that movie?
Also it was a midnight showing...

Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage is the greatest actor of our generation. He gets a lot of hate from people bc he picks crazy roles and overacts but if you really think of the movies hes been in you see how awesome he is.
Face Off, National Treasures, Gone in 60 sec., The Rock,  Kick Ass, Matchstick Men, Bad Lieutenant etc.

Some of his shitty movies: The Wicker Man (do yourself a favor and watch this clip below).

He beats the shit out of a couple chicks and knocks one chick out cold while wearing a full bearskin suit).
Lord of War, Windtalkers, Knowing, Drive Angry, etc.

Anyways here is another clip from youtube. This is just a highlight real of Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit.

Another awesome Cage site is AsOutrasFacesDeNicolasCage on Facebook. Its in Spanish for some reason but the words dont matter its all about the pictures. The purpose of the page is to put Cage's face into movie posters its awesome. Ill post a couple of the best ones below.

300

The Avengers

The First Family

Pizza Hut

If you dont like Pizza Hut then you are an idiot. period

Marshawn Lynch

My favorite football player. Just got a DUI. Why someone who makes millions of dollars wouldnt have a driver, cab, or some other creative rich way to be transported is beyond me but whatever.

As far as football goes he is truly a beast. Ever since I saw This Video, Marshawn Lynch (True Meaning of Determination) on Youtube, I was hooked on him.

Shit is hilarious and it's probably the greatest run ever. The stadium got so loud it registered on the rictor scale. Also when he scored the touchdown he jumped into the endzone backwards and grabbed his dick just to show the Saints up even more.

I'm definitly getting a knock of jersey of his from Pick Jerseys. Its awesome they are like 20 bucks but shipping is $20 because it comes from hong kong or some shit. A friend of mine got a few and they are legit. fuck paying $100 for a jersey.

Facebook

Remember when facebook came out and it was only for people in college. All there was on Facebook was pictures of hot chicks and drunken nights. Now that I'm good and addicted with nothing else to kill time with at work I have to stare at peoples godamn babies and hear about weddings every other post. I know that there will be nothing cool on Facebook yet I still logon 10 times a day to look at the same bullshit. Its pathetic really. I really hope that by the time I have a kid Im not posting pictures and statuses about it every 5 min.

Next grievance. Food pictures. If its gourmet or something interesting then awesome post a pic. If you made scramled eggs and toast thats not worthy of posting. Great, you are fat and are finally eating healthy. You want a fucking medal? You're just doing what you should have been your whole life.

Lastly, weddings. You are getting married before you are 25? Awesome! Thats like leaving a party before 10. Just go ahead and shit out a few kids while you are at it and consider your life over. Just cuz you are getting married doesnt mean you have to talk about it non stop for a year until it happens.

Sticker people

I fucking hate these sticker people on cars. Sticker Family Its one of those retarded things that I wish I would have invented b/c its so simple but made someone very rich. Another example would be the snuggie. But at least the snuggie does have a purpose. I dont care how many rotten children you have in your mini van just get out of the godamn left lane.

purpose of my blog

The point of my blog is for me to be able to bitch about all of the things I hate. This blog will probably just annoy anyone who reads it but I dont care. I want a way to say all of the politically incorrect things that I can only say to my closest friends but am able to say on the internet because I'm pretty sure there is no way anyone could figure out who I am. So if you can relate to me cool, if not you can get out.
Boom